Welcome back to the Santa Clara Meditation blog! We are excited to introduce a new lifestyle series: Her Subtraction Life. At our center, we practice the art of subtracting the clutter from our minds to find true peace. But did you know this same principle can utterly transform your physical space and daily habits?
Today, “She” will be guiding us through how the principles of subtraction apply to our most common, everyday dilemma: our closets. Let’s dive in! β¨
Hello. I’m “She,” who will be running Her Subtraction Life. The first topic we’ll cover is a universal struggle: “Why do we have nothing to wear?”
“Ah, I have absolutely nothing to wear!” π©
Despite clearly having plenty of clothes in the closet, you lament every day that you have nothing to wear. This is a truly mysterious situation that many of you have probably experienced at least once, or might even be experiencing right now. (^^)
We want to know the truth~!!! Why do we always have nothing to wear? I’d like to talk about the reasons and how to solve this.
πͺ Your Closet Reflects Your Psychological State
It is no exaggeration to say that clothes are our second ego, containing our consciousness, dissatisfactions, and desires. Therefore, the current state of your closet directly reflects your psychological state. If you open your closet and it is filled with baggy clothes, the owner of this closet is likely someone who is unconsciously ashamed of gaining weight.
It is said that most people spend 80% of their daily lives wearing only 20% of the clothes they own. If so, why do we keep so many clothes we don’t even wear?
- Because we think we might need them someday.
- Because they hold memories.
- Because they were expensive.
- Out of fear of running out of things to wear.
- Or out of fear that a part of ourselves might disappear.
That, too, shows the exact state of our minds. Lamenting that you have “nothing to wear” isn’t because you lack an absolute quantity of clothing. It might be because you haven’t sorted out in your mind what kind of clothes you actually like, what makes you stand out, or what style you want to build for yourself. Or, perhaps you know the style you want, but you lack the courage to readily make the transformation.
If so, let’s start by organizing your closet first. You will begin to see what styles you liked wearing, what unresolved fears were in your heart, and even a sense of direction for how you should shape yourself in the future.
ποΈ Discard Clothes, and the Clothes You Should Wear Will Appear
They say, “Clear the closet, and the style appears.” Clothes that make you happy when you wear them, clothes that give you confidence, clothes that highlight your strengths… You’d want to wear clothes like that. To find those clothes easily, you must first throw away the countless items you’ve just piled up without wearing, which are clouding your choices.
Then, how much should you throw away?
Jennifer Baumgartner, author of You Are What You Wear (Korean title: Closet Psychology), says two-thirds.
OMG! Two-thirds?! π± Many of you might be shocked. I was shocked too. But they say that once you start organizing, you absolutely must discard two-thirds of your clothes, and this ratio works effectively for any closet. After you throw away clothes like that, magically, the clothes you can wear will reveal themselves. Furthermore, you will experience the amazing feeling of your mind clearing up as you discard the clothes.
The author of You Are What You Wear says she has witnessed countless people who suffered from internal issues resolve those problems through a closet makeover:
“The clothes that touch our skin accurately show who we are and our perspective on life. Opening the closet doors and looking deeply inside can yield great insight. And if you struggle to discover the real you, you can naturally transform into a better version of yourself. When you wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident, your life satisfaction increases. The change that starts in the closet transforms many parts of your life, like dominoes.”
π Seven Rules for Discarding Clothes
Now, you must keep only the clothes that genuinely make you happy and confident when you wear them, and get rid of the rest. Are you trembling? (Haha)
Many of you might have decided to throw away unworn clothes but shrink back when standing in front of them. Do I really have to throw this away? Won’t I have an occasion to wear it again? It’s a waste… Should I toss it, or not? It’s a sharp internal conflict.
For those of you who will face this situation, I want to share the “Seven Rules for Discarding Clothes.” You must boldly follow these rules. Remember: B.O.L.D.L.Y!
- First, throw away clothes you haven’t worn once in over 2 years. If you have lingering attachments and just can’t toss a piece, gather the clothes you consistently don’t wear in one place. Try to wear them every time you pick out an outfit. If you still don’t wear them, throw them away without regret. Your relationship with that garment is already over. Let it go now. How? B.O.L.D.L.Y!
- Second, “Can I wear this out right now?” If not, throw it away. Clothes you couldn’t toss because you thought you’d wear them someday, clothes you used to love but stopped wearing… The criterion for judgment here is to ask yourself: “Can I wear this out right now?” If the answer is “No,” throw it away immediately.
- Third, if even one part displeases you, throw it away without lingering attachment. There is always a reason you don’t wear it. Look at each piece of clothing closely and observe how it makes you feel. The color, shape, texture, cut, fabric, clothes that fit your body but don’t have a great silhouetteβif there is even one thing you don’t like, throw it away without regret. Decorating your closet only with clothes you love is a form of courtesy to yourself.
- Fourth, throw away clothes that don’t fit your size. “I’ll wear it when I lose weight.” Many people obsess over their old, smaller clothes under the pretext that they will lose weight soon. However, these plans only cause stress. Karen Kingston, author of Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, tells such people to follow ‘Denise Linn’s suggestion.’ Toss all the clothes currently in your closet, go out right now, and buy clothes that are the most comfortable and flattering for your current self. Amazingly, people who did this actually lost weight because they shook off their resistance to their weight. Love yourself as you are now~! What a simple diet method.
- Fifth, throw away clothes saved for a “special day” someday. There are clothes we keep stashed away, thinking we’ll wear them on a special day someday. But as that continues, they just sit there unworn for years. Wear those wonderful clothes right now. You have to wear your best clothes to create such special situations. If it’s an outfit you can’t do that with, throw it away.
- Sixth, throw away clothes with happy memories if you don’t wear them. Clothes bought by someone precious, clothes that remind you of happy times… but clothes you don’t wear anymore. Throw those away, too. If you can’t throw them away because of past memories, you are tying yourself to the past. The happy moments and emotions just need to remain inside you, not in your closet. You have to discard the past to move further forward.
- Seventh, if it’s a piece you can wear after altering, alter it within 5 days. Sometimes, a piece of clothing becomes perfect for you with just a little tailoring. But because you put off the alterations, it becomes a piece you haven’t worn in a long time. You must get it altered within 5 days. If you shove it back in the closet saying you’ll do it later, it might eventually become a piece of clothing that isn’t even worth the alteration fee.
Have you finished organizing now? You probably feel like even the emotions tied to the clothes have been neatly cleared away.
Wait a minute! Are there still some of you who can’t throw away clothes out of fear? (^^;;) Now that I’ve thrown so much away, what am I going to wear? Will I regret it when I need it someday? Am I afraid I’ll run out of clothes?
Honestly, it’s natural to feel that fear at first. But once you overcome that fear and boldly organize your clothes, you’ll realize that the fear was an illusion you created. The secret weapon to defeat that fear is “letting go of attachment.”
If you let go of your attachment and give it a try just once, it will be “Goodbye~!” to the days of opening a closet bursting with clothes and lamenting, “I have absolutely nothing to wear!” And from now on, you’ll be able to make yourself and your life even more fabulous through your clothes. πβ¨
π Reference Books:
- Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui (Karen Kingston | Translated by Choi Ji-hyun | Dosol)
- You Are What You Wear: What Your Clothes Reveal About You (Jennifer Baumgartner | Translated by Lee Hyun-jung | Myungjin Publishing)
- Tim Gunn’s A Guide to Quality, Taste and Style (Tim Gunn, Kate Moloney | Translated by Lee Young-jin | Woongjin Livinghouse)
P.S. Now, what should you do with the clothes you’ve gathered to throw away? It might feel like a waste to just toss perfectly fine clothes, so next time in Part 2, I’ll teach you how to donate old clothes!
