📖 Introduction
Childhood trauma can leave an incredibly deep mark on our lives. For some, growing up in a toxic or violent environment creates a lingering belief that their existence is a burden. To cope, many push themselves to the brink of exhaustion—studying endlessly, working tirelessly, and constantly seeking recognition just to “justify” their right to live. But what happens when that relentless pursuit leaves you completely empty and begging for an escape?
In this post, a 32-year-old woman shares her heartbreaking yet ultimately triumphant journey. After surviving severe family discord and carrying a daily desire to escape the world, she reached a breaking point. Through the practice of mind subtraction, she made a miraculous discovery about her own trauma.
Read her deeply moving story to see how over 30 years of agonizing pain melted away in a single instant.
💬 Story: 🌧️ “The Feeling of Over 30 Years of Pain Melting Away in an Instant”
By Seong Yu-na / Age 32 / Level 7
I spent my childhood amidst severe family discord. It was terrifying and agonizing to have no choice but to watch helplessly amidst loud shouting and violence. Then one day, the single scene of my mom wailing and asking to die together remained as a mind picture and a lifelong trauma, and from that day when I was 6 until before I started this practice, I had never wanted to live a single day.
If only I wasn’t here, Mom and Dad wouldn’t have had to marry and live so painfully… If only I wasn’t here, my younger sibling wouldn’t have had to be born and live in such a depressing environment… Why on earth was I born? If God exists, why does he just watch, leaving me in such pain?
I often thought that the hot fires of hell spoken of in religions would rather be better than my life. But ironically, even while wanting to die and blaming myself almost every single day, I wanted to live so badly. And I wanted to live better and happier than anyone else. So I think I tried endlessly hard to live a good life.
“I needed a justification, a reason why it was okay for me to live in this world. So, trusting only my own body, I truly lived diligently in every matter. I studied unconditionally hard, built my resume, and worked hard. I had to be the best everywhere and wanted to be recognized.”
Because only then did it seem like I was allowed to live in this world. But the more I did that, the greater the emptiness grew, and I couldn’t find meaning or purpose in life. That piled up and piled up until I reached the point just before explosion, falling into a situation where I couldn’t do this or that or anything at all. I actually wailed, begging for someone to please do something about this me. Kill me or save me, just please take me out of here… I had never genuinely smiled for even a single day. Rather, I cried and cried every single day.
When I first started this practice, my mind just wanted to escape this life of mine. I thought I would take a brief break away from society, catch my breath, and find my problems. However, as I escaped one level after another, I gained a comfort and joy greater than my expectations, and when I confirmed that I am the universe, it felt like all the pain of over 30 years melted away in a single instant.
The me who lived so painfully doesn’t exist… I was trapped inside that non-existent me, foolishly suffering… Releasing myself even a little bit made me free and happy. I didn’t know at first, but this meditation is truly amazing. I can’t even fathom how amazing and incredible it is. How did I come to meet such a meditation… It feels like a dream…
#Freedom #Amazing #Happiness #OvercomingTrauma #Emptiness
🌱 NEXT STEPS: Clear Your Mind Today
Whether you are carrying the heavy weight of childhood trauma, suffering from an overwhelming sense of emptiness, or exhausting yourself just to prove your worth, true relief begins when you let go of the burden. Discard the heavy thoughts and find your peace.
👉 Book a Free Introductory Session at Santa Clara Meditation https://santaclarameditation.org/free-meditation-introduction
