๐ A Professor’s Journey from Exhaustion to Living Wisdom
Have you ever checked all the traditional boxes of “success”โa prestigious career, a family, the respect of your peersโonly to wake up feeling completely exhausted, overwhelmed, and empty inside?
We are often taught that accumulating moreโmore knowledge, more wealth, more prideโwill eventually make us happy. But what if the secret to true freedom is actually letting go of it all?
Here at Santa Clara Meditation, we see this profound shift happen every day. Today, we want to share the inspiring personal story of Park Yi-soon, a Professor of Japanese Studies at Kangwon National University. Her journey beautifully illustrates how subtracting the mind can transform a heavy, stressful life into one of boundless gratitude. โจ
By Park Yi-soon, Professor of Japanese Studies at Kangwon National University
I was born in Nonsan, South Chungcheong Province, and mostly grew up in Seoul. So I thought I had little connection to Gangwon Province, but now I am incredibly grateful for my life here in Chuncheon.
๐งโโ๏ธ The Heavy Burden of “Success”
After graduating from college, I spent about 10 years studying abroad at the University of Tokyo’s graduate school in Japan. Clenching my teeth with the resolve that I would rather become a fisherman in Sapporo than return without achieving anything, I ultimately gained recognition.
I successfully earned my degree, safely started a family, and successfully secured a professorship at a national university. Consequently, many people envied me.
I, too, wanted to consider myself a happy person enjoying many blessings in human life. But honestly, it was hard. Feeling guilty, I couldn’t tell anyone and just kept it bottled up inside.
The result of a life filled with harsh determination during my long years studying abroadโwithout ever taking a proper walk to enjoy the bright sun in the skyโwas a body plagued by terrible digestion and migraines. The fatigue of raising children after giving birth back-to-back, which weakened my very bones, and curling up to sleep amid the rocking of the commuter train traveling daily between Seoul and Chuncheon only added to my exhaustion.
“Looking back, it was a life where I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in a very long time. I always endured and lived diligently with all my might, so I wondered why I never felt happy.”
๐ก Encountering Mind Subtraction
That is when I encountered Ma-eum Su-ryun (Mind Subtraction). I happened to see an informational booklet in my apartment mailbox, and hoping that this might resolve even a little of the fatigue and emptiness in my life, I grasped at it like a straw and just started mind subtraction exactly as taught.
And the result was tremendous.
I think I used to believe that human beings inevitably had to shoulder things like money, love, honor, pride, and relationships, living with a certain degree of greed and possession. However, while doing the mind subtraction practice, I realized the truth:
I learned that true happiness and freedom are obtained only when you completely discard the mind attached to all these things.
Miraculously, the Bible verses I had picked up at the church I attended out of loneliness during my study abroad, and the words of Buddhist scriptures I had heard through my connections with monks from around the world at the University of Tokyo’s Department of Indian Philosophyโall of these naturally began to make sense. The words of truth could never be understood unless one became the truth itself.
๐ From Dead Knowledge to Living Wisdom
Above all was my research life, where I diligently read materials and books. But the shock was honestly immense when I realized I was merely taking pictures of dead, lifeless knowledge and stuffing them into my head, mistaking that for intellectual pride. I even felt a sense of bitter resentment.
Nevertheless, I continued mind subtraction. I completely discarded even that very mind.
The place of original nature, where all illusory pictures had been drained away, was nothing but living wisdom itself. It was a truly noble and pure placeโa state of simply knowing the ways of the world, free from the confines of mere intellectual knowing.
๐ป A Heart Beating with Gratitude
Only now do I feel confident standing in front of my students, and I am truly, deeply grateful that I can finally say things that genuinely help them. Now, at last, I can smile to my heart’s content. I can tell people: let’s live like this.
Escaping my self-centered greed and attachments, the happiness and joy of living with the expansive mind of the world are boundless, and my heart beats with gratitude.
Now, everyone must do mind subtraction. Having been born as a human being, shouldn’t we truly know its meaning and purpose, and be genuinely happy? Anyone, all of us, everyone! ๐
