๐ Introduction
Many teachers begin their careers with passion, hope, and the sincere desire to help students grow.
But the reality of teaching can sometimes bring emotional exhaustion, disappointment, stress, self-doubt, and conflict.
Repeated misunderstandings, difficult student relationships, and pressure in the classroom can gradually make even the most passionate teachers feel discouraged and emotionally drained.
This heartfelt meditation testimonial shares the story of Seo E. H., a teacher who once dreamed of becoming someone who truly understood and loved students, but eventually found herself overwhelmed by frustration, emotional pain, and disappointment during her first years of teaching.
Through meditation and deep self-reflection, she gradually realized that many of her struggles came from hidden pride, emotional wounds, and the desire to be recognized and liked by others.
As she learned to let go of those thoughts and emotional burdens, her relationships with students changed naturally, her stress disappeared, and teaching itself became joyful and meaningful again.
This inspiring meditation testimonial beautifully shows how inner change can transform not only the teacher, but also the classroom, family relationships, and everyday life itself.
๐ฌ Meditation Testimonial: โMy Teaching Life Changed 180 Degrees โ I Finally Became a True Teacherโ
By Seo E. H. | Teacher
โAt last, I became a teacher!โ
The joy I felt when I saw my name on the final list of successful applicants for the 2003 teacher certification exam was beyond words.
All the years of hard work flashed through my mind like scenes from a movie.
I began my teaching career filled with dreams and determination.
I told myself:
โLet me become the kind of true teacher Iโve always dreamed of being โ
a teacher who understands, cares for, and genuinely loves students.โ
๐ง My First Year of Teaching Was Filled With Shock and Disappointment
The students in the middle school class I first taught felt incredibly lovable at the beginning.
I celebrated their birthdays, exchanged emails with them, counseled them, and simply felt happy knowing I had โmy own class.โ
But as time passed, the students gradually changed.
They resisted my guidance as their homeroom teacher, and when I disciplined them, they responded with shocking rudeness and disrespect.
I tried convincing myself:
โTheyโre only acting like this because Iโm an inexperienced new teacher.โ
But the stricter I became, the more rebellious the students grew.
As time passed, the emotional distance between us became deeper and deeper.
Honestly, it felt as though I had experienced enough hardship in that one year to last an entire teaching career.
The repeated shocking incidents left me discouraged, blaming myself, and crying frequently from frustration.
Part of it may have been my lack of teaching experience.
But more than anything, I felt ashamed that I could not truly embrace those students with a broad and understanding heart.
๐ฑ I Was a Narrow-Minded Teacher Who Wanted Recognition
During that difficult time, I encountered this meditation and attended a teacher meditation retreat during winter break.
As I reflected on my life through meditation, at first it almost felt interesting.
But gradually, painful memories began surfacing:
Being bullied during middle school.
Being ignored and insulted by students during my first year of teaching.
All the emotional wounds I had carried for years.
As those memories surfaced, tears poured out from feelings of sadness, hurt, and injustice.
As I repeatedly discarded those minds, I finally discovered the deepest layer inside myself.
I desperately wanted recognition from everyone.
I wanted every student to like me.
And when they did not, I became disappointed in them and eventually began disliking them too.
In the end, I realized I had created much of the suffering myself.
Deep inside me existed pride:
The desire to always be better than others.
The desire to be recognized.
The desire to receive attention and approval.
๐ฟ As I Emptied My Mind, My Body and Heart Became Lighter
As I discarded those false minds one by one, something incredible happened.
The heavy pain I constantly carried in my shoulders suddenly disappeared.
Both my body and mind became light.
I realized that my true nature was actually vast and spacious like the universe itself.
And I felt regret for spending so many years suffering without knowing that.
At the same time, gratitude naturally began arising inside me.
If I had not gone through all those hardships during my first year of teaching, perhaps I never would have encountered this meditation or experienced such peace and freedom.
Time passed, and eventually I became a fifth-year teacher.
Of course, I still make mistakes sometimes.
But these days, other teachers often tell me that I seem energetic and bright.
In the past, every Sunday evening felt heavy and depressing because I dreaded going back to work the next day.
But now, my mind feels peaceful all the time.
๐ I Became a Teacher Who Truly Understands Students
Now Sunday nights feel peaceful.
Mondays feel joyful.
Even class time with students feels meaningful and enjoyable.
In the past, when students behaved badly, I often scolded them emotionally simply to release my own frustration.
But now, when I guide students, it genuinely comes from a sincere desire to help them.
Before, I labeled students as:
โProblem students.โ
โTroublemakers.โ
And without realizing it, I treated them with hostility.
Now, I can simply see and accept them as they are.
Even my youngest daughter at home changed greatly.
She used to complain often, act stubborn, and speak harshly.
But now she greets family members with a smiling face, and my family found the change astonishing.
These days, no matter what situation arises, I naturally try understanding things from the other personโs perspective first.
And when I realize I failed to do that, even if the other person is a student, I sincerely apologize respectfully.
Because unnecessary thoughts have disappeared, my concentration at work improved greatly, and my effectiveness increased as well.
I also gained confidence.
These days, I truly enjoy school life because I believe I can finally live as a teacher who sincerely understands and embraces students from the heart.
And today once again, I remind myself:
โEverything depends on discarding the mind.โ
