📖 Introduction
Turning thirty can feel very different depending on where someone stands in life.
For some, it feels like a new beginning filled with hope.
For others, it becomes a season of uncertainty, emotional exhaustion, regret, loneliness, and unanswered questions about life itself.
This heartfelt meditation testimonial shares the story of Mi K., who entered her thirties carrying deep emotional pain after financial loss, family struggles, guilt, anxiety about marriage, and the heartbreaking loss of her father.
Burdened by regret, misunderstandings from childhood, and unresolved sorrow, she gradually became trapped inside loneliness, emptiness, and emotional suffering.
But through meditation and learning how to let go of the painful “mental photographs” stored inside her mind, she slowly began healing old wounds, understanding her family more deeply, and seeing both herself and others with new clarity.
This moving meditation testimonial beautifully shows how letting go of resentment, misunderstanding, and emotional attachment can transform grief into gratitude and allow life to begin again with peace and hope.
💬 Meditation Testimonial: “Thirty — The Celebration Had Only Just Begun”
By Mi K. | Office Worker
“Thirty — the celebration is over.”
A poet once described the age of thirty with those words.
Not everyone may feel that way, but around the age of thirty, I deeply related to that sentence and fell into a painful emotional slump.
Around that time, someone I trusted caused me to lose a portion of my savings.
Perhaps it was not a large amount to others, but to me, it felt devastating.
At the same time, my father’s illness — which he had battled for years — continued growing worse day by day.
🌧 My Father Passed Away on a Cold Spring Day
Money can come and go, so I tried enduring that loss quietly.
But realizing that my remaining time with my father was running out felt unbearable.
I was the youngest daughter among seven siblings and received endless love from my parents while growing up.
Yet during my teenage years, I mistakenly believed my father loved my older brother — who was only one year older than me — more than he loved me.
Because of that misunderstanding, I resented my father and rebelled against him emotionally.
Later, after leaving home and living independently in my twenties, I deeply regretted those immature misunderstandings.
I promised myself:
“I’ll love my parents better from now on.
I’ll become a more devoted daughter.”
But before I knew it, the day my father would leave forever was approaching.
While lying in his hospital bed, my father repeatedly asked whether he would ever see his youngest unmarried daughter get married before he died.
And hearing those words filled me with guilt.
I felt like an unfilial daughter who could not fulfill his final wish.
My family and friends constantly arranged meetings for me to meet potential partners, but my heart had already become trapped by anxiety and pressure.
No one could truly enter my heart.
Part of me thought:
“Maybe I should marry for my father’s sake.”
But another part wondered:
“This is still my one and only life…
Should I really marry while carrying so much fear and uncertainty inside me?”
Then one chilly spring day filled with cold seasonal winds, my father suddenly passed away.
💔 “If Only These Painful Memories Could Disappear…”
People often say that sorrow belongs to those left behind.
Standing before my father’s grave, I beat the ground, clutched my chest, and cried uncontrollably.
I had sent him away while leaving regret inside his heart.
And afterward, guilt and sorrow became deeply embedded inside my own heart as well.
After the funeral ended and life returned to normal, I could do almost nothing.
I could not focus at work.
I wanted to quit my job.
I felt so emotionally exhausted that I even considered visiting temples and churches searching for comfort.
That spring, even the blooming flowers across the world looked lifeless to me.
Burdened by emptiness, depression, and endless doubts about life, I happened to hear about this meditation.
And a question arose inside me:
“Can the mind really be discarded?
Can painful memories truly disappear?”
If that were possible, I thought, it would be wonderful.
So I began practicing meditation.
And little by little, I started recalling and discarding the memories of my life one by one.
🌿 As I Discarded My Narrow-Minded Self
Because of one mistaken “mental photograph” from childhood — the belief that my father loved my brother more than me — I had spent years resenting my father, resenting my siblings, and closing my heart toward people who sincerely cared about me.
I carried endless disappointment and resentment toward my family.
I envied my brothers and their wives.
I buried loneliness and hurt inside myself.
And instead of seeing people as they truly were, I interpreted everything through the distorted “photographs” I had created inside my own mind.
In reality, I alone had created the misunderstandings, judgments, and suffering.
At first, revisiting those painful memories felt incredibly difficult and exhausting.
But gradually, as those remembered “photographs” were discarded, I began feeling an incredible sense of peace and comfort.
For the first time, I could see situations from my mother’s perspective.
My brothers’ perspectives.
My sisters’ perspectives.
And I realized:
“Given those circumstances, they truly could not have acted differently.”
In the end, I only felt sorry for my own narrow-minded self who had lived trapped inside misunderstandings for so many years.
My relationships with my family became far more comfortable than before.
And I felt deeply grateful toward the family members who had quietly watched over their immature youngest daughter all those years.
🌸 Now Every Day Feels Like a New Beginning
Afterward, I also noticed changes in my work life.
Even when work piled up or conflicts with coworkers occurred, I no longer stayed trapped inside irritation for very long.
I became able to accept situations much more naturally.
As I learned to understand people from their perspectives, I also became able to apologize sincerely first, and emotional resentment no longer lingered between people.
I realized I had spent my entire life trapped inside myself, unable to truly see the world clearly.
Especially because of the mistaken “photographs” I carried about my father, I had not even recognized the sincere affection and kindness of people who genuinely cared for me.
But now, I finally have enough space inside myself to truly see others as they are.
If I had never encountered this meditation, I honestly cannot imagine living with this much gratitude and peace.
Now I am already in my mid-thirties.
Compared to before, I laugh much more often now.
Fine wrinkles have even formed around my eyes.
But somehow, even those wrinkles feel beautiful and precious to me.
Because now I realize:
Thirty — the celebration is not over.
Every single day is a brand-new beginning.
