Teenage anger is a growing concern for many parents today. According to a survey conducted by the Korean Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, a staggering 30.2% of teenagers experience symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).
ODD involves irritability, excessive anger, defiant behavior, and an attitude of refusing to admit mistakes. Furthermore, the more severe a child’s rebellion is, the more serious their behavioral, emotional, and learning problems tend to be.
So, what is the most effective way to resolve this kind of oppositional defiance? A feature published by Naeil Shinmun suggests that the answer can be found in the inspiring transformation of a middle school student named Park Da-woon.
πͺοΈ The Heavy Toll of Uncontrolled Anger
When Da-woon was in the second grade of elementary school, she had a heartbreaking habit: she would pull her own hair out when she couldn’t control her anger. She even had to receive psychological therapy.
She would get irritated over trivial things, fight with friends almost daily, and use harsh language. When overcome with anger, she would tear up books and throw her study materials.
Yet, this same girlβwho used to get angry at even a stationary stoneβcompletely transformed 180 degrees into a kind, patient counselor for her friends. The secret to her change was Ma-eum Su-ryun (meditation).
π§ Finding and Discarding the Root Cause
During the summer vacation of her fifth-grade year, Da-woon attended the Youth Ma-eum Su-ryun Camp. Her grades and relationships had hit rock bottom, and out of desperation, she volunteered to go and practiced diligently.
At first, it wasn’t easy. “Because my emotions would well up, it was hard to discard my mind at first,” she shared. “I kept crying as I discarded the memories of being scolded by my teachers and fighting with my mom and dad.”
Da-woon realized that her severe anxiety and rebellion stemmed from her relationship with her mother, who would often scold her for the slightest mistakes. Feeling like she was always about to be in trouble, she lived in constant anxiety. Once she found this root cause and discarded those accumulated negative memories, letting go of her mind became much easier.
𧩠Breaking the “Mold” of the Mind
As Da-woon let go of her obsessions and the pain of past conflicts, she gained a profound understanding of herself and others.
She beautifully described her realization:
“If my mold is a square, another person could be round or a triangle. I could be the one to accommodate that person, but I realized I was cutting them down, hurting them, and cutting them off to force them to fit into my square mold. But when you do the practice, that disappears.”
She realized that the meditation practice acts like an eraser that wipes away the rigid “mold” of a person’s mind, allowing them to become a generous person who can accept both squares and triangles.
π» A Heartwarming Transformation
After returning from the camp, Da-woon sincerely apologized to a friend she had previously bullied.
Her transformation didn’t end there. Today, she speaks gently and is careful not to offend others. While she once had no friends around her, now, her peers approach her first. With her newfound patience and empathy, she is known as the best counselor among her friends, even earning the sweet nickname “Mom.”
When teenagers are given the right tools to reflect on their minds and discard their inner pain, their natural warmth, empathy, and kindness can beautifully shine through.
β¨ Ready to Help Your Teen Find Emotional Stability?
If your child is struggling with frustration, anger, or lack of focus, mindful self-reflection can make all the difference.
π Book a Free Meditation Introduction at Santa Clara Meditation
π° About the Article
- Publication: Naeil Shinmun
- Article Title: [Ansan Ma-eum Su-ryun Center] Discarding the Mind to Eliminate Anger and Frustration
- Published: June 27, 2011
