📖 Introduction
Stress, financial pressure, business challenges, and family responsibilities can slowly weigh a person down over time.
Many people try to cope with those burdens through alcohol, work, distractions, or isolation. While these methods may provide temporary relief, they often leave deeper problems unresolved and can eventually damage relationships with loved ones.
This meditation testimonial shares the story of Young-ho C., a self-employed business owner who struggled with stress, alcohol dependency, family conflict, and emotional pain for many years.
Although he worked tirelessly to provide for his family, he gradually became trapped by frustration, resentment, pride, and an obsession with financial success. His drinking habits strained relationships with his wife and children, and eventually he found himself feeling isolated even within his own home.
Through meditation, he began reflecting deeply on the root causes of his suffering. As he let go of long-held memories, emotional burdens, and limiting beliefs, he experienced profound changes in his relationships, his mindset, and even his business.
His story is a powerful reminder that true change begins from within.
💬 “I Don’t Want to Live That Way Anymore… I’m Truly Sorry”
By Young-ho C. | Self-Employed Business Owner
While running a pump distribution business, I constantly clashed with employees, and before long I began drinking alcohol to relieve stress.
At some point, I lost the ability to control myself.
Once I started drinking, I would completely lose control.
I would come home drunk late at night and wake my wife and children while they were sleeping peacefully.
I wanted someone to listen to my frustrations and understand how trapped I felt.
But my family’s reactions were always cold and exhausted.
🌧️ When My Children Started Avoiding Me
In 2004, I sold my shop and rented a new office to restart my business.
But that same year, Typhoon Maemi caused severe flooding, and my office suffered major damage.
After that, my mind completely collapsed into despair.
I could not control the pain and stress inside me.
I wandered around visiting friends and drinking constantly.
I repeatedly promised myself I would control my drinking.
But somehow, every single time, I crossed the line again.
Whenever I entered the house, my children would immediately leave the living room and disappear into their bedrooms, even if they had just been watching television moments earlier.
That was the kind of person I had become.
An uncomfortable presence.
Then one day, my wife quietly told me she needed to go away somewhere for about three weeks.
She left without explaining much.
And that hurt me deeply.
I thought:
“How unbearable must life with me have been for her to leave like this without even explaining?”
For the first time, overwhelming regret came rushing into my heart.
“I’ve only hurt my wife and children all this time.”
“Money isn’t everything in life.”
“I can’t keep living like this.”
🌱 Discovering the Root Cause of My Drinking
Three weeks later, my wife returned home.
But she seemed like a completely different person.
Before, she barely cared whether I had eaten or not.
Now she prepared meals for me herself and warmly asked how I was doing.
That was when I learned she had gone away to practice meditation.
At her encouragement, I also began practicing.
As I reflected on and discarded the memories stored inside my mind, I finally discovered why I had depended on alcohol for so long.
Outwardly, I appeared easygoing and confident.
But in reality, I could never openly talk about my struggles with other people.
So I developed the habit of borrowing the power of alcohol to reveal my true feelings.
At the root of that behavior were money and pride.
When I was young, my family’s financial situation became so difficult that I had to give up my education.
At the time, I deeply resented my parents.
I believed everything in life depended on money.
Even after working hard and building my own success from nothing, my obsession with money only grew stronger.
I constantly felt wronged.
I believed I worked endlessly while my family, employees, and friends simply enjoyed the benefits without understanding my sacrifices.
Looking back, I realized something painful.
I wasted money.
I damaged my health.
And in the end, nothing meaningful remained.
💙 Learning What My Family Truly Needed
Through meditation, I realized that I had spent my entire life comparing my past and present circumstances.
Because of that, I always felt pitiful and miserable inside.
As I let go of those thoughts, I finally realized how greedily I had been living.
And I felt overwhelming sorrow toward my family.
Especially toward my children.
They were going through adolescence, but instead of giving them warmth or emotional support, I only tried solving everything with money.
If they wanted tutoring, I paid for it.
If they needed allowance money, I gave it.
But there was no real love inside those actions.
My wife had often begged me to pay more attention to the children.
But all I ever told them was:
“Study hard so you don’t end up struggling like your father.”
“Don’t run a business like me.”
“Get a stable job at a good company instead.”
That was the only way I knew how to express love.
🌟 “Dad Doesn’t Want to Live This Way Anymore”
One day, I held my children’s hands and said:
“From this moment on, Dad doesn’t want to live this way anymore.”
“I’m truly sorry for everything.”
Whenever the urge to drink suddenly arose, I learned to let go of that mind.
Even when friends called inviting me out for drinks, I gradually became able to control myself.
Now, I rarely even think about alcohol anymore.
Naturally, I also began coming home much earlier.
As I overcame those emotional struggles inside my mind, confidence slowly returned.
Before, I lacked motivation for everything.
Some mornings, I did not even open my shop at a consistent time.
But now, every morning feels refreshing and joyful.
I no longer obsess over whether business will succeed or fail that day.
Instead of trying to sell customers the most profitable products, I genuinely listen to what they actually need.
Ironically, business has improved even more because of that.
👨👦 Only Now Do I Feel Like a Father
In the past, I barely spoke with my children.
Now, whenever they come home, I warmly ask:
“School’s been hard lately, hasn’t it?”
These days, we even exchange text messages often.
When I send messages like:
“Insoo, I love you. Thank you.”
My son replies:
“I love you too.”
Whenever that happens, I become so emotional that tears almost come to my eyes.
Sometimes my son, who attends college in Seoul, comes back to our hometown, and we go together to a sashimi restaurant to talk about life.
Every time, he tells me:
“I’m really happy that you changed, Dad.”
And he says he also wants to live diligently and sincerely.
Only now do I finally feel like I have truly become a father.
🌿 A New Life Began When I Changed Myself
For years, I believed that money, success, and hard work alone were enough to support a family.
But through meditation, I realized that what my family needed most was not financial support—it was love, understanding, communication, and genuine presence.
As I learned to let go of resentment, pride, stress, and unhealthy habits, my relationships changed naturally.
My family became closer.
My mind became lighter.
Even my business improved.
Looking back, the greatest change was not overcoming alcohol.
The greatest change was learning how to live with gratitude and becoming the father and husband my family truly needed.
