π± Self-Esteem, the Root of Life
Self-esteem is the mindset of viewing oneself as a valuable and precious being. It is the mind that loves and trusts oneself. This self-esteem is like the root that supports our entire lives.
“A tree with deep roots is not swayed by the wind, so its flowers are beautiful and its fruit is abundant.”
This is a sentence from Yongbieocheonga, the first literary work written in Hangul, which perfectly illustrates the concept of self-esteem.
A person with high self-esteem is like a tree with deep and strong roots; they are not easily swayed no matter what difficulties they encounter. Because they know themselves well and acknowledge and respect themselves exactly as they are, they do not cling to the evaluations or recognition of others. By growing little by little at their own pace, they eventually achieve their desired goals and bear the beautiful flowers and abundant fruits of life.
On the other hand, a person with low self-esteem is like a tree with small, shallow roots. They are greatly shaken and easily fall over even in the face of minor difficulties. Because they lack self-certainty, they have a strong tendency to rely on the recognition and evaluation of others, making it extremely difficult for them to endure even minor criticism. Due to the fear of failure and criticism, they tend to stay in safe zones rather than taking on challenges, thereby missing out on opportunities for self-growth.
π§ The Role of Self-Esteem in Daily Life
Self-esteem creates completely different response methods in the various situations we encounter in life. Here is how it shapes our daily routines:
- In decision-making: A person with high self-esteem deliberates sufficiently, but once a decision is made, they have confidence in their judgment and push forward. A person with low self-esteem hesitates to make decisions, seeks approval from others, and constantly second-guesses themselves.
- In interpersonal relationships: A person with high self-esteem respects themselves and others, accepts criticism constructively, and confidently expresses their stance. A person lacking self-esteem cannot express their opinions due to the fear of rejection and tries to adapt to the thoughts of others, creating only superficial relationships.
- In goal management: A person with high self-esteem steadily moves forward toward their set goals, overcoming difficult conditions. A person with low self-esteem finds it difficult to set goals and is easily swayed by evaluations or shifting situations, leading to a dependent life.
- When they fall: A person with high self-esteem thinks of their goal first, uses failure as a learning opportunity, and attempts new challenges. A person with low self-esteem easily falls into self-deprecation, is greatly frustrated by a single failure, and turns that frustration into resentment and depression.
π Recovering Self-Esteem: The Root Cause Must Be Resolved
Many methods like positive thinking, writing gratitude journals, or engaging in hobbies are suggested for recovering self-esteem, but it is often difficult to get sufficient results. It might seem to get better temporarily but then reverts to how it was because the core of the problem has not been resolved.
The formation of self-esteem is reported to be most significantly influenced by the environment during one’s developmental years, particularly parenting styles. If children experience excessive expectations, excessive control, comparative evaluations, or fail to receive sufficient empathy and support, they experience difficulties in forming self-esteem. Furthermore, negative self-perception created by criticism or failures during this period becomes a major cause of a drop in self-esteem.
Childhood Memories Are the Core of Self-Esteem
The negative self-identity formed in childhood becomes the standard for self-evaluation throughout the rest of one’s life. Over time, these repeatedly accumulated negative self-evaluations ultimately take root firmly inside as if they were one’s true identity. If the negative self-perception internalized deep within your unconscious is not resolved, any method will only end up being a temporary fix.
β¨ The Method to Recover Unshakable True Self-Esteem
The way to possess unshakable self-esteem is to extract and eliminate the thoughts about the events or experiences that lowered your self-esteemβwhich have been stacked up in your memory since childhoodβone by one, and recover your original, clean state.
This is possible through a special method in Ma-eum Su-ryun meditation.
- Through a scientifically and systematically structured 7-step process, you can find and discard all the negative thoughts and minds piled up in your memory.
- You are not discarding the memory itself, but the thoughts or the mind engraved within that memory.
- By deeply exploring your inner self, you can find and discard even the internalized minds hidden in your unconscious that you weren’t even aware of.
Only then can you completely break free from the shackles of all the minds that tormented you and achieve true freedom. You will find the original, clean mind that has existed from the very beginningβyour true self. If you recover this mind, you will possess true self-esteem where no one and no situation can shake you anymore.
When you possess true self-esteem, like a deep root that firmly supports you and your life, the tree called “me” will weather any storm or tempest, eventually growing into a large tree that provides shade for many, bearing beautiful flowers and abundant fruits.
References:
- Son, Seok-han (2017). Misunderstandings and Understandings about Self-Esteem. Happy Education, June 2017 issue.
- Lee, Ju-jae & Kim, Soon-gyu (2019). Factors Influencing the Self-Esteem of Adolescents: Personal, Family, and Environmental Factors. AJMAHS, Vol.9, No.5, May (2019), pp. 659-667.
- Choi, Kyung-sook (2007). Self-Esteem and Positive Psychology. Stress Research Vol.15, No.3, Review.
