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They say people grow through relationships. By communicating and being together, the mind to understand and accept each other also grows. However, meeting people isn’t always purely joyful. Whether it’s any gathering or even a meeting with family and relatives, a grand festival of inferiority often breaks out inside me.
What the inferiority is about—only the keyword differs. They say most people suffer from feelings of inferiority. However, simply enduring it while comforting yourself that “everyone has it” makes life too exhausting and tiring, because the reality of an inferiority complex is harsh.
To live a positive and happy life, the inferiority complex must be overcome. Let’s look into the 3 steps to overcoming it right now.
Step 1: Grasping the Reality of Inferiority
They say if you know your enemy and know yourself, you will win a hundred battles. Inferiority is the same. It is an invisible emotion, but if you know its true nature, you can overcome it without being swayed.
1) Inferiority is merely an ’emotion’ I created.
Looking at the dictionary definition, inferiority is “a chronic feeling of thinking one is lagging behind others or lacks ability compared to others.” In other words, inferiority is not an objective fact, but a subjective emotion.
For example, let’s say a friend goes to a better school than I do. That itself is a fact, but whether you feel inferior because of it or not is entirely up to you. It depends on how you accept that fact and how you manage the emotions that arise from it. Another point is that it stems from comparing yourself as being “worse than others.” Instead of acknowledging and cherishing each individual’s life as it is, unhappiness begins the moment we line people up horizontally and vertically and start ranking them.
2) Is it a healthy sense of inferiority or an inferiority complex?
“Human beings are creatures that harbor feelings of inferiority. This in itself cannot be seen as bad; it is about how I handle it. Inferiority becomes the driving force of human development.” — Alfred Adler
Psychologist Alfred Adler defined it like this: The feeling of inferiority, which starts from comparing and evaluating oneself against others, exists in everyone. If accepted positively, it can become a motive that makes you develop and strive further. However, if that emotion is manifested incorrectly, making you negative and depressed, it makes you miserable and exhausts those around you. This is called an ‘inferiority complex.’
- I feel inferior because my English is bad. -> I need to study English hard starting now. -> A me who strives and develops.
- I feel inferior because my English is bad. -> I would have done well if I studied abroad too. Why is my family like this? -> A me who becomes negative and depressed.
Even with the same condition, the result is completely different depending on how you accept and think about it.
Step 2: Why We Must Escape Inferiority
To overcome an inferiority complex, you must first know how it affects you. An inferiority complex not only torments you, but it also corrupts you. The aftereffects are severe.
- It attracts a negative mind: It makes you dissatisfied with your life and surroundings, piling up anxiety, depression, anger, and sadness.
- It creates a victim mentality: You easily distort even well-meaning words, thinking people are trying to hurt or disadvantage you.
- It makes you hate others: As you sink deeper into the swamp of inferiority, you lose sight of your surroundings, and even your judgment becomes clouded.
- It makes you feel guilty: When you see yourself tearing down those close to you while engulfed in inferiority, you end up blaming yourself.
- It causes a sense of inadequacy: Beyond comparing yourself to others, you become dissatisfied with yourself, making you feel that no matter what you do, you are lacking.
- It makes you lonely: No one likes or feels comfortable around someone steeped in inferiority.
Humans are social beings who must live and mingle with others. All these emotions and attitudes stemming from inferiority cannot lead your life to complete happiness. Acknowledging this fact and firmly deciding to overcome your inferiority is the second step.
Step 3: Actionable Methods to Overcome Inferiority
No matter how good a method is, it is useless if you don’t actually try it. Here is how you can put it into practice.
1) Change Your Thinking
- Life is not about lining up in ranks. I am a single, unique living being born into an infinite universe. There is no horizontal or vertical in the universe. You can be free from inferiority when you acknowledge yourself and respect others.
- Admit that you have an inferiority complex. Psychologists say people develop feelings of inferiority from the age of 4 or 5. Rather than suffering while pretending you don’t have it, honestly admit it and try saying to the person you feel inferior to: “I envy you. How can I do it like you?”
- Invest the time spent analyzing others into yourself. Analyzing things like “Someone bought a house of this size at my age…” is absolutely unhelpful. When you use that time to study and research what you need, your self-esteem will rise.
2) Put It Into Action
- Live for others; try volunteering. Inferiority can be overcome through a sense of community. Start with small things you can do to positively impact society.
- Face the root cause of your inferiority through meditation. Inferiority begins in childhood. Because it is formed by the environment you were born and raised in, Ma-eum Su-ryun meditation—which involves self-reflection—is a great help in finding the root cause of your inferiority yourself. Once you know the cause, you can deal with and manage it.
- Train yourself to face yourself directly. Make it a habit to coolly observe and reflect on yourself: “I am feeling inferior right now. I usually feel inferior in these situations.” A person who is cool-headed toward themselves doesn’t make their surroundings uncomfortable.
Overcoming inferiority will not happen just by vaguely wishing for it. If you execute these steps one by one, you will suddenly meet a version of yourself free from inferiority! ☁️
(Reference Book: The Science of Living by Alfred Adler)
🚨 There is ALWAYS someone like this around you:
Checklist of Words and Actions Most Frequently Done by People Steeped in Inferiority
- They talk without pausing so they don’t lose the upper hand in the conversation.
- They continuously spout empty words as if they know everything about every field.
- If a topic they know comes up, they will even cut off others to talk.
- They use an assertive tone, blocking others’ words and emphasizing that they know best.
- They subtly belittle the abilities or achievements of others.
- Without being asked, they suddenly reveal their own flaws, trying to look “cool.”
- If they aren’t given enough recognition, they randomly keep talking about their own achievements. (Source link: Mendi YouTube)
If there is someone like this around you, it is best to keep your distance—until they realize they have a lot of inferiority and decide for themselves to change it.
If you realize that this isn’t about someone else, but you belong to this list, you must recognize it as an ‘Inferiority Complex’ emergency and start your project to overcome inferiority as soon as possible! 🌱
