📖 Introduction
Insomnia, anxiety, nightmares, emotional exhaustion, and resentment can slowly consume both the body and mind.
Many people silently struggle with sleepless nights, emotional pain, stress, suppressed emotions, and the feeling of wanting to escape from their lives entirely.
Even when physically exhausted, the mind may remain restless, overwhelmed by fear, anger, disappointment, and emotional suffering.
This meditation testimonial shares the story of Si Y. L., an office worker who struggled for years with severe insomnia, nightmares, emotional exhaustion, resentment, and anxiety.
Although he searched for freedom through music, travel, books, and distance from his environment, the emotional suffering inside him never disappeared.
Through meditation and reflecting deeply on himself, he gradually discovered the true cause of his insomnia and began letting go of resentment, suppressed emotions, expectations, and emotional wounds.
As he continued emptying his mind, his nightmares disappeared, deep sleep returned, his health recovered, and he finally experienced lasting peace and freedom within himself.
This meditation testimonial beautifully shows how inner change can transform insomnia, emotional suffering, anxiety, and hopelessness into healing, peace, deep rest, and genuine freedom.
💬 Meditation Testimonial: “Insomnia — I Barely Even Remember You Anymore”
By Si Y. L. | Office Worker
The first time I began losing sleep was during my second year of high school.
Every time I fell asleep, people I disliked would appear in my dreams — usually family members or people around me.
When I woke up, I became terrified of falling asleep again because I feared having another nightmare.
Little by little, my sleeping hours decreased.
By the time I entered college, there were many nights when I could not sleep at all.
Sometimes I survived by taking only a one- or two-hour nap every other day while attending school.
Naturally, I lost all motivation for school and for life itself.
🌧️ Resentment Toward Others Became Insomnia
My appetite disappeared too.
I ate only one meal a day, and although my body was exhausted, I still could not sleep.
That state continued for several years.
My health deteriorated, and I lost nearly 10 kilograms.
My father encouraged me to seek medical treatment.
But at the time, my relationship with him was not good, so I reacted negatively to everything he said.
Rather than treating my insomnia, what I truly wanted was to escape from my situation and from the family members I believed were making me suffer.
Deep down, I think I was desperately searching for some kind of freedom.
To find that freedom, I joined a band and learned musical instruments.
I also read many books about religion and history.
But no matter how freely I tried to live or do what I wanted, nothing ever turned out the way I hoped.
My heart felt unbearably suffocated.
I felt like I had become someone completely unable to adapt to society.
As a final decision, I chose to leave Korea and go to Australia on a working holiday visa.
Part of me even thought:
“Maybe I’ll never come back.”
But about two weeks before leaving for Australia, I started practicing this meditation in order to calm my exhausted mind before my departure.
🌿 After Letting Go of Resentment and Hatred, I Finally Slept Deeply Again
I had always believed that my parents and the people around me were the ones hurting me.
I thought they were driving nails into my heart.
That was why I felt wounded, and why I constantly wanted to run away.
But through meditation, when I honestly looked inside myself, I realized the exact opposite was true.
The emotions I had been suppressing deep inside were what had actually damaged my relationships and appeared as nightmares.
I remembered only what I wanted to remember.
I constantly expected things from others and then felt disappointed.
And whenever I got hurt, I wanted to run far away.
I realized how difficult it must have been for my parents and the people around me to endure me for all those years.
I felt deeply sorry.
After just one week of meditation, those minds began disappearing, and I was finally able to step out of the painful perspective I had carried for so long.
When my mind became as vast as the universe itself, there was no longer anyone who could hurt me — nor anyone I needed to feel hurt by.
I realized that true freedom exists within the unchanging true mind.
✨ For the First Time in Seven Years, I Slept Peacefully
Eventually, I canceled my trip to Australia and devoted myself fully to emptying the mind.
Starting in the second week of meditation, I finally began sleeping deeply again.
It was the first truly refreshing sleep I had experienced in seven years.
My weight gradually returned to normal as well.
Now, one year has passed since I first began practicing this meditation.
And honestly, I barely even remember what insomnia felt like anymore.
I rarely dream, I sleep deeply, and sometimes I even oversleep peacefully.
Because of that, I now function well at work and live comfortably.
But more than anything else, my greatest happiness and transformation is this:
I no longer experience only temporary moments of freedom.
Instead, I now live with an unchanging and everlasting freedom inside my heart.
🌟 Reflect at Santa Clara Meditation
Many people silently struggle with insomnia, anxiety, nightmares, emotional exhaustion, resentment, depression, stress, and overwhelming thoughts that prevent true rest.
At Santa Clara Meditation, people learn how to reflect on themselves, let go of emotional burdens and painful thoughts, and discover peace, healing, clarity, and inner freedom through meditation.
If you are struggling with insomnia, anxiety, emotional pain, or restless thoughts, meditation may help you discover deeper rest, healing, and lasting peace within yourself.
