📖 Introduction
Have you ever felt hurt by others, only to later question if things were really as they seemed?
This powerful testimonial from Santa Clara Meditation explores how misunderstanding, insecurity, and perception can shape our reality—and how true healing begins when we look within through this meditation.
💬 Meditation Testimonial: Was I Really Bullied?
By Hye myung B. | Office Worker
Since childhood, I was someone who always chose the safer path.
In friendships, I avoided conflict and listened to others rather than expressing my own opinions.
When I entered middle school, academic competition became intense, and students began forming cliques. It was difficult to make friends unless you belonged to a group. But I chose not to join any group, fearing my mother’s disapproval, and instead focused solely on studying.
😔 Feeling Isolated and Misunderstood
Among my classmates, I became someone they couldn’t understand.
They would come to me for help with studying, but they never approached me as a friend. Seeing this, I gradually closed my heart as well. Eventually, I stopped responding warmly even when they asked for help.
Perhaps because of this, classmates began talking behind my back and teasing me.
I wondered, “Am I being bullied?”
The truth was, there was no one who truly considered me a friend. Two classmates even openly mocked me.
I was shocked.
Throughout my school life, I resented everyone—my mother who pushed me to study, and the classmates who made my life difficult.
Although the bullying seemed to end when I entered high school, the experience stayed with me as trauma.
🌫️ The Fear That Stayed for Years
Even after time passed, I was afraid of forming relationships.
I worried that I might be bullied again, and I feared running into those classmates by chance.
To cope, I told myself that they were just jealous because I was better at studying. I believed I had forgiven them—but that belief was only on the surface.
Ten years later, I unexpectedly ran into one of those classmates.
I thought I would feel nothing—but the moment I saw them, resentment and anger rushed back.
Surprisingly, that classmate felt completely differently. They greeted me warmly and said they had always thought of me positively.
In that moment, I realized something shocking.
I hadn’t truly forgiven them at all.
🌱 Seeing the Truth Through This Meditation
Around that time, I began practicing this meditation.
As I reflected on that past experience and let go of the lingering emotions, I noticed something unexpected.
At first, just recalling those memories made me angry. But as I continued letting go again and again, I was able to step outside of myself and see my middle school years more objectively.
I began to question everything.
Was I really bullied?
Or had I interpreted things through my own insecurity?
🌿 A New Understanding
Looking back, that classmate was actually someone who got along well with many people.
Perhaps they were trying, in their own way, to include me—to help me feel noticed.
What I had taken as bullying might have been playful behavior common among peers. But because I was trapped in my own inferiority, I interpreted it as rejection.
I had firmly believed that I was the victim and they were at fault.
But through this meditation, I realized that wasn’t the whole truth.
I thought I was a good and upright person, but I came to see how much arrogance was hidden within me.
Even if I didn’t act on it outwardly, I had judged and excluded others in my mind countless times.
🌱 True Forgiveness and Inner Peace
I also realized something deeper.
The world had always accepted me as I am—giving me sunlight, air, and life without condition.
Forgiveness is not something I grant to others.
It is accepting others as they are—just as the world has done for me.
In truth, I was not the one who had the right to forgive.
I was the one who needed to ask for forgiveness.
Only after sincerely reflecting and letting go of my mind was I able to genuinely wish happiness for that classmate.
At that moment, true peace came into my heart.
🌿 Reflect at Santa Clara Meditation
What we see is not always the truth—it is often shaped by our own mind.
Through this meditation, you can:
- Let go of past trauma and emotional pain
- See situations more clearly and objectively
- Release resentment and misunderstanding
- Experience true forgiveness and inner peace
👉 Begin your journey at Santa Clara Meditation.
