📖 Introduction
Grief, emotional pain, loss, stress, and sadness can completely change the direction of a person’s life.
Many people silently struggle after losing someone precious, carrying overwhelming sorrow, emptiness, loneliness, regret, and emotional suffering deep inside their hearts.
Even while appearing successful externally, internally they may feel lost, exhausted, disconnected from life, and unable to recover emotionally.
This meditation testimonial shares the story of Hyun K., a team manager in the KBS News Division who experienced deep grief and emotional suffering after the sudden passing of his mother.
Although he had built what seemed like a successful and stable life, internally he lost meaning, happiness, and emotional peace after her death.
Through meditation and honestly reflecting on himself, he gradually discovered the countless identities, judgments, emotional wounds, fears, and attachments he had accumulated throughout his life.
As he continued emptying his mind, his grief slowly eased, his relationships improved, his concentration returned, and he rediscovered genuine happiness, peace, and freedom within himself.
This meditation testimonial beautifully shows how inner change can transform grief, emotional suffering, attachment, and stress into healing, gratitude, clarity, and renewed joy in life.
💬 Meditation Testimonial: “The Precious Gift My Mother Left Behind”
By Hyun K. | Team Manager, KBS News Division
Growing up, my family struggled financially after my father’s business failed.
But thanks to my mother’s incredible diligence, our lives never felt overwhelmingly difficult.
I graduated from a respected university in Seoul, entered a broadcasting company that many people dreamed of working for immediately after graduation, married a wonderful woman, and became the father of a healthy son and daughter.
By most standards, I believed I had built a life anyone would envy.
But even for me, life’s greatest trial eventually arrived.
🌧️ After My Mother Suddenly Passed Away, Life Lost Its Meaning
Right before the Lunar New Year holiday in 2001, my mother was hospitalized with abdominal pain.
Less than three days later, she suddenly passed away.
She had always been physically weak, but there had never been any serious diagnosed illness.
At the time, I was working in Gunsan and had traveled ahead to Seoul to visit my in-laws for the holiday.
I was not even able to be by my mother’s side when she died.
It truly felt as though lightning had struck my life.
My mother had spent her entire life sacrificing herself for her five sons.
Just when it seemed she could finally live comfortably, she suddenly disappeared from this world.
After her death, life itself lost meaning for me.
Work no longer mattered.
Every night after work, I drank heavily and ended up crying alone in karaoke rooms.
🌱 Searching for an Escape From My Grief
One day, I happened to see a newspaper article about meditation.
One phrase immediately caught my attention:
“Discovering the true nature of human beings.”
Occasionally, I had wondered where human beings come from and where we go after death.
But after my mother’s sudden passing, I desperately needed some kind of emotional and spiritual escape.
That summer, I boldly took two weeks off from work and entered the main meditation center.
The first few days were difficult.
I doubted whether it was truly possible to discover one’s true nature.
And honestly, sitting silently all day while following instructions to “discard myself” did not feel easy at all.
But after about three days, as I continued reflecting on and letting go of memories from my life, something slowly began changing.
My mind became clearer.
My chest felt lighter and more open.
🪞 I Saw Countless Versions of “Myself”
As I reflected on my life, countless versions of myself appeared one after another.
The boy who felt proud because he could run faster than his classmates.
The son who believed he was filial simply because he helped his mother sell vegetables at the market.
The high school student who secretly looked down on classmates who struggled academically.
The son who constantly complained about having a financially incapable father.
The college student who developed an inferiority complex because of poor handwriting and feared exams because of it.
The young man who hid in corners of the library because he felt people were watching him.
The shy student who stared blankly into the air during group blind dates because he was too nervous to talk to women.
The employee terrified his hands might shake while receiving drinks during company dinners.
The husband who compared his wife to his mother and criticized her unfairly.
The man who endlessly complained:
“Why do others live comfortably while my life is so difficult?”
There were tens of thousands of versions of “me.”
The world itself had always remained exactly as it was.
But throughout my life, I had continuously stored endless thoughts, judgments, wounds, and identities inside my mind — and then lived trapped inside them.
Those two weeks of meditation became an opportunity to thoroughly reflect on my life and realize how selfish and foolish I had often been.
✨ As I Let Go of My Mother, the Pain Disappeared
Most importantly, I continued letting go of the memories of my mother.
At some point, something extraordinary happened.
Even when I thought of her, the overwhelming grief and pain were no longer there.
I cried endlessly as I discarded those memories one after another.
And through that process, I eventually rediscovered my true self.
Although I was born into this world in the body and identity called “Hyun K.,” I realized clearly that my original nature was the universe itself.
For the first time, I truly understood what real happiness and freedom are.
🌎 Life Became Joyful Again
Afterward, I naturally realized something deeply important:
The desire to appear better than others, smarter than others, or more successful than others has no true meaning.
As I discarded the countless false versions of myself, unnecessary thoughts gradually disappeared.
My concentration at work improved dramatically.
Everything I did became enjoyable.
And because I could now see people without prejudice or fixed judgments, my relationships also became much more harmonious.
Eventually, my wife and two children also began practicing meditation.
Looking back now, I realize:
“The most precious gift my mother left behind for me was meditation itself.”
🌟 Reflect at Santa Clara Meditation
Many people silently struggle with grief, emotional pain, stress, loneliness, loss, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and overwhelming thoughts after losing someone precious.
At Santa Clara Meditation, people learn how to reflect on themselves, let go of painful thoughts and emotional burdens, and discover peace, gratitude, clarity, healing, and renewed happiness through meditation.
If you are struggling with grief, emotional suffering, loss, or inner pain, meditation may help you discover lasting healing and meaningful inner peace.
