📖 Introduction
Many couples stay together for decades, yet never fully learn how to express love, gratitude, or respect toward one another.
Instead, daily life becomes centered around responsibilities, work, family obligations, and routine. Feelings remain unspoken, misunderstandings accumulate, and both spouses silently carry emotional burdens for years.
For some couples, conflict is loud and obvious.
For others, the distance is quiet.
This meditation testimonial shares the story of Jeom-sul O., a farmer who spent more than thirty years married to his wife without truly understanding how much she had sacrificed for him and their family.
Although they rarely fought, he eventually realized that peace had existed only because his wife endured everything in silence.
Through meditation, he discovered the hidden anger, pride, and emotional burdens he had carried throughout his life.
As those burdens disappeared, something remarkable happened.
For the first time, he learned how to truly respect, appreciate, and love his wife.
And that transformation changed not only their marriage, but their entire life together.
💬 “My Wife Hugged Me First”
By Jeom-sul O. | Farmer
It happened while my wife and I were attending meditation together at the main center in Nonsan.
We were standing in line waiting for lunch.
Suddenly, my wife walked over and hugged me tightly.
I was completely shocked.
For us, that kind of affection was almost unimaginable.
My wife and I had always been uncomfortable expressing emotions openly.
Especially my wife.
She was never the type to say:
“I love you.”
Or show affection publicly.
When she saw my surprised expression, she smiled and said:
“After letting everything go, life feels this comfortable and good.”
At that moment, I realized just how much both of us had changed.
🌱 A Man Who Could Not Control His Temper
I was twenty-eight when I married my wife through a traditional introduction.
She was twenty-three.
We were both the oldest children in large families.
During more than thirty years of marriage, we never had a major fight.
But looking back honestly, that was only because my wife silently endured everything.
As the eldest daughter-in-law, she lived with my parents and carried countless responsibilities.
Life was not easy for her.
My mother often spoke harshly.
Sometimes she treated my wife unfairly.
My wife suffered greatly.
Yet she rarely complained.
In fact, she avoided complaining to me altogether.
Because she knew that if she did, I would probably become angry first.
Looking back, I understand why.
I had a strong temper.
Strong pride.
Strong opinions.
And I rarely listened to anyone else’s perspective.
😔 “Isn’t There Somewhere That Can Fix My Personality?”
Like many men from my generation, I struggled to express emotions.
I believed being strong meant being tough.
Whenever things did not go my way, I became irritated.
I spoke harshly without realizing it.
I often cut people off during conversations.
People felt uncomfortable around me.
And honestly, I felt uncomfortable with myself too.
As I grew older, I began worrying.
“If I become even more stubborn as I age, what will happen?”
I genuinely wanted to change.
I quit drinking.
I quit smoking.
I tried controlling myself.
But nothing truly changed.
Eventually I found myself asking:
“Isn’t there somewhere that can completely fix this personality of mine?”
That search eventually led me to meditation.
💙 Realizing How Much My Wife Had Suffered
On only my second day of meditation, something happened.
It felt as though a huge stone that had been trapped inside my chest suddenly broke apart.
For the first time in years, I felt relief.
As I reflected on my life, I realized that much of my anger came from the burdens I had carried as the eldest son in a poor family.
Responsibility.
Pressure.
Financial worries.
Expectations.
All of it had accumulated inside me for decades.
And then I saw something even more painful.
I saw my wife.
I realized how much she had suffered because of me.
She had married into a poor family.
Worked endlessly.
Endured difficulties with my parents.
Supported our household.
And through it all, I had rarely thanked her.
Instead, I often raised my voice whenever things did not go my way.
For three days, I cried.
When I returned home, I apologized.
“I treated you wrongly.”
My wife cried too.
And together, we began healing.
🌸 The First Thing I Changed Was How I Spoke to Her
After meditation, even the way I addressed my wife changed.
Before, I often called her casually.
Sometimes I even whistled for her while working on the farm.
Looking back, it was disrespectful.
Meditation taught me something important:
If I wanted respect, I needed to give respect first.
So I started calling my wife:
“Teacher Kwak.”
Now I naturally say:
“Teacher Kwak, let’s eat.”
“Teacher Kwak, thank you for the meal.”
“Teacher Kwak, thank you.”
No matter who is around, I call her that.
Because now I genuinely respect her.
❤️ Learning to Say “I Love You”
The personality I had wanted to change for decades finally began changing.
Before, I could not comfortably make jokes.
I certainly could not say:
“I love you.”
Now I say it openly.
When my wife travels or spends time away, I no longer expect her to prepare everything for me beforehand.
Instead, I tell her:
“Go enjoy yourself. I’ll take care of things here.”
I do my own laundry.
I help around the house.
I listen more.
And perhaps most importantly, I no longer insist that everything must be done my way.
🌿 “My Wife Is the Best”
About a year later, my wife began practicing meditation as well.
As both of us continued, our conversations increased naturally.
And I realized something that sounds simple, yet changed everything.
Before, I thought:
“She’s my wife.”
That was all.
Now I think:
“My wife is the best.”
“My wife is truly an amazing person.”
Once I saw her that way, respect came naturally.
And something interesting happened.
The more I respected her, the more she respected me too.
Instead of arguing over who was right, we began discussing things together.
Solving problems together.
Living together as true partners.
🍅 As Our Marriage Improved, Even Our Farm Improved
My wife and I have been growing tomatoes together for thirty-five years.
Farming requires teamwork.
Attention.
Patience.
And harmony.
I truly believe plants can feel the atmosphere around them.
Perhaps that sounds strange.
But after both of us changed through meditation, our farm changed too.
Our crops became healthier.
Plant diseases decreased.
Work became smoother.
And life became more enjoyable.
Whether it was the tomatoes changing or simply our perspective changing, I cannot say for certain.
But I know this:
When our hearts became peaceful, everything around us improved as well.
🌟 Love Means Living Joyfully Together
For many years, I thought being a good husband meant working hard.
Providing for the family.
Fulfilling responsibilities.
Those things are important.
But they are not enough.
Through meditation, I learned something deeper.
Love means smiling together.
Talking together.
Respecting each other.
Supporting one another.
Living joyfully side by side.
And when the burdens, anger, pride, and selfishness inside the mind begin to disappear, that kind of love arises naturally.
Today, after more than thirty years of marriage, I can honestly say that I respect my wife more than ever.
And that has made all the difference.
