Two office coworkers smiling and handing each other coffee, representing positive workplace relationships

β€œIt’s not work you do alone.” β€” A line from the tvN drama <Misaeng (Incomplete Life)>

Let’s be honest. Have you ever felt completely drained at the end of the day, not because of your workload, but because of a tense interaction with a coworker?

There’s a common saying among office workers: “It’s not the work that’s hard; it’s the people.” Workplace life isn’t a solo endeavor. No matter how fun or fulfilling your daily tasks might be, if the people you share your office with make you uncomfortable, the work itself inevitably becomes difficult.

But what if you could change that dynamic starting today? I’d like to introduce practical ways to improve relationships at work. These 17 methods are simple, actionable things you can put into practice right now. If you can try just one of them today, you’re already halfway there. Having the will to make an effort is the shortcut to success. If you follow them step by step, you’ll soon become a beloved colleague in the office!

1. Know Your Real Facial Expression

  • Step 1: Prepare a palm-sized mirror. (A phone selfie camera is fine if you don’t have one, but absolutely no flattering angles!)
  • Step 2: Relax all the tension in your face and look into the mirror.
  • Step 3: Check how you look when you’re expressionless!

Did you think you had a pretty good resting face, but got surprised when you actually saw your expressionless face? When you open your phone camera and it happens to be on selfie mode, you want to deny that startling reflection of yourself. But let’s admit it! Acknowledge, “Wow, my expression is really this stiff~”. Knowing yourself is the beginning of everything.

2. Make a Good Impression

  • Step 1: Without making a sound, stretch your mouth into “Ah-Eh-Ee-Oh-Ooh” shapes to relax the muscles around your mouth.
  • Step 2: If the space between your eyebrows is furrowed, massage the tense area with your thumbs.
  • Step 3: Consciously raise the corners of your mouth.

Muscles that have been stiff for decades won’t loosen up overnight, but if downturned lips are a concern, how about writing “Raise the corners of your mouth” on a small Post-it and sticking it to your monitor?

3. Give Compliments

  • Step 1: Think of someone you’ve wanted to get closer to, or someone you genuinely want to compliment.
  • Step 2: Find just 1 of their strengths.
  • Step 3: In an appropriate situationβ€”like in the breakroom, during a meeting, or while chattingβ€”tell them sincerely: “You have a really warm heart.”

Don’t just keep it in your heart thinking, “I’m grateful for them” or “They’re a good person.” If you approach them and express it exactly as it is, their heart will open wide to you. Caution: Avoid doing this via KakaoTalk/text if possible. Who confesses love over a text message?

4. Listen to What Others Say About You

  • Step 1: Think of someone whose opinion you want to hearβ€”a senior/junior on your team, a boss, a colleague, or a subordinate.
  • Step 2: Ask them, “Is there anything I’m missing lately? I’d appreciate it if you could be honest with me…” Let’s muster the courage to know ourselves accurately. You must be ready to listen attentively.
  • Step 3: Whatever they say, listen carefully to their honest feedback. Expand your consciousness by understanding their perspective, which differs from yours.

This is a skill that requires courage. But there’s no better skill for expanding the capacity of your mind. There will definitely be parts you resist accepting when you first hear them. But as you ponder them and realize later that they weren’t wrong, you’ll understand and accept yourself that much more.

5. Pick One Day a Month to Say No Negative Words

  • Step 1: Pick your favorite number between 1 and 30.
  • Step 2: On the date matching that number every month, set words like “No,” “I hate it,” and “I can’t” as banned words.
  • Step 3: On that day at least, try saying “OK” and “Sure/Yes” a lot instead of “No.”

“Team Leader, please buy me lunch.” “…” Become a yes-man for just this day. You can also reflect on the moments when you badly want to shout “No.” You can learn a lot by trying this for just one day. Caution: Don’t let your coworkers find out which day is your secret “Yes Day.”

6. Be a Good Listener

  • Step 1: Right now, as you read this, nod your head up and down.
  • Step 2: Practice saying, “Wow, really?” “Awesome!” “I see.”
  • Step 3: Keep Steps 1 and 2 in mind and practice them when talking with someone.

There is always that one popular person in every office, and most of them seem to use these phrases frequently. No one dislikes a person who responds well and listens carefully. Caution: Make sure you’ve mastered Method 2 (Making a Good Impression) first!

7. Make Eye Contact When Talking

  • Step 1: Look at the person’s eyes when conversing.
  • Step 2: Do not avoid their gaze.
  • Step 3: Try not to look at your smartphone in the middle of a conversation.

This is a continuation of Method 6. If you don’t even look at the person’s face and just stare at your phone while saying “Wow, awesome, I see,” no actual communication is happening. Looking into someone’s eyes requires active practice.

8. Make Coffee for Someone

  • Step 1: Pick one person you want to make coffee for.
  • Step 2: Observe what kind of coffee they usually enjoy. Instant? Black? And at what time?
  • Step 3: At the right timing, casually hand them a coffee. “Here’s some coffee.”

If you have a coworker who enjoys coffee, how about handing them one occasionally? Caution: Step 2 is crucial. If you blindly hand them instant coffee, you might hear, “I don’t drink instant coffee…”

9. Be Quick to Move

  • Step 1: Stand up from your chair once every hour.
  • Step 2: Make a consistent effort every day.
  • Step 3: If you hear someone needing a helping hand somewhere, naturally get up and help.

Have you noticed that your body, which was so quick to move when you were a rookie, is now permanently glued to your chair? Becoming someone who is quick to jump up and help others requires consistent daily effort.

10. Tidy Up

  • Step 1: Look for areas in the office where trash has piled up or things are messy.
  • Step 2: If there are old drink bottles or things to throw away on your coworkers’ desks, collect those too.
  • Step 3: Roll up your shirt sleeves stylishly and start organizing and cleaning.

People naturally feel affection for someone who willingly steps up to help with tasks that everyone else finds bothersome.

11. Dress Neatly and Cleanly

  • Step 1: Check if you’ve washed your hair in the last two days.
  • Step 2: Check if the clothes you’re wearing right now smell.
  • Step 3: Search “fashion terrorist” on Google. If the images look similar to your style, seriously reflect on your fashion sense.

They say people are often unaware of themselves. Even those who think “I’m a clean person” need to double-check. If you’re not sure, asking around is a great method.

12. Ask for Help First

  • Step 1: When you need help during work.
  • Step 2: Talk to someone who can help you. “Do you have a minute?”
  • Step 3: Honestly explain what your difficulty or concern is. Ask for help.

Surprisingly, research shows that people feel more affection toward you when they help you than when they receive help from you. Caution: Avoid asking for help excessively.

13. Be the First to Apologize

  • Step 1: Prepare a piece of A4 paper and a pen.
  • Step 2: Fold the paper in half. On the left, write “My faults,” and on the right, write “The other person’s faults.”
  • Step 3: Then, tear the paper up and throw it away. Stop trying to judge whose fault it is. Just approach them first and say you’re sorry.

Knowing that it’s meaningless to argue over who was more wrong is the core of this skill. If there’s someone you’re on awkward terms with, try using this skill.

14. Greet People First (The “Good Morning” Skill)

  • Step 1: Go to work in the morning.
  • Step 2: Say “Hello/Good morning” to the very first person you make eye contact with.
  • Step 3: If you make eye contact again later, be the first to greet them.

If you greet them first, they’ll be glad to see you too, right? How about happily greeting the people you used to just pass by without a thought?

15. Don’t Gossip About Others

  • Step 1: If someone gossips about a coworker to you…
  • Step 2: Just say, “Ah, I see,” and quickly leave the spot.
  • Step 3: Never agree by saying, “I think so too.”

You might feel a sense of psychological comfort by agreeing with talks about other people’s flaws, but relationships built that way don’t last long. If you want to build long-lasting relationships, practice loyalty.

16. Hand Out Snacks

  • Step 1: Look around at 3-4 PM, when people are the most hungry and their blood sugar drops.
  • Step 2: Approach the person who looks particularly exhausted and hand them a Choco Pie.
  • Step 3: Just leaving it on their desk with a quick note is great too.

Personally, as an editor, I absolutely love people who give me snacks at 3-4 PM. I just unconditionally like them. ^^

17. Meditate

  • Step 1: Close your eyes.
  • Step 2: Using the Ma-eum Su-ryun subtraction method, discard the minds blocking your human relationships.
  • Step 3: Do it consistently every day.

Meditation is really great… For those who fundamentally want to take one step further, I highly recommend it!

Have you chosen at least one workplace relationship skill to put into practice right now? Give it a try today. πŸ™‚