π INTRODUCTION
Many people appear to live normal lives on the outside while quietly carrying anxiety, emptiness, and unanswered questions deep within.
Some spend years asking:
“Who am I?”
“Why do I exist?”
“What is the purpose of life?”
For Tae-Young H., a subway train operator, these questions followed him for decades.
Although he carried out his responsibilities faithfully and safely transported thousands of passengers each day, internally he struggled with fear, anxiety, and a profound sense of emptiness.
Working underground, he often felt as though his own mind was trapped inside a dark tunnel.
Through the meditation method taught by Master Woo Myung, he eventually discovered answers he had been searching for since childhood.
As he learned to let go of accumulated fears, worries, and mental burdens, the darkness within gradually disappeared.
Today, people know him for his bright smile, positive energy, and peaceful presence.
This meditation testimonial shares how one subway operator escaped the tunnel of existential emptiness and discovered genuine gratitude, peace, and purpose in life.
π¬ MEDITATION TESTIMONIAL: βWHY DO I LIVE?β β ESCAPING THE TUNNEL OF EXISTENTIAL EMPTINESS
By Tae-Young H. | Subway Train Operator
People often ask me:
“Why do you always look so happy?”
Today, many people know me as someone who smiles often and enjoys life.
But until my mid-thirties, I lived with constant anxiety, fear, and emptiness.
Outwardly, I performed my job normally.
Internally, however, my mind often felt darker than the underground tunnels I drove through every day.
π OBSERVING LIFE FROM UNDERGROUND
The first Bundang Line train begins operating around 5 a.m.
Every morning before departure, I gently touch the controls and quietly say:
“Please take care of us safely today.”
The earliest passengers are often people who begin society’s workday before sunrise:
β’ Day laborers
β’ Security guards
β’ Cleaning workers
Watching them has taught me a great deal about life.
Although I spend most of my workday underground, I have learned to observe the world through the people who ride my train.
Their faces.
Their expressions.
Their energy.
Often, I can sense emotional exhaustion and hardship simply by looking at them.
Perhaps I recognize it because I once looked exactly the same way.
π€ βWHY AM I LIVING?β
Since middle school, I constantly asked questions that many people avoid.
“Who am I?”
“Why do I exist?”
“What is the purpose of life?”
I desperately wanted to understand myself before my life ended.
So I searched everywhere.
I climbed mountains.
I challenged myself physically.
I explored various spiritual paths.
But no matter where I searched, the emptiness inside remained.
Nothing fully answered the questions that continued to follow me.
π FEAR FOLLOWED ME EVERY DAY
In 2005, I transferred from above-ground railway operations to subway driving.
That was when anxiety became much stronger.
Even small incidents remained in my mind for long periods.
One day, while operating a train, an unexpected malfunction occurred.
Passengers gathered around the driver’s compartment.
People became frustrated.
I broke into a cold sweat while trying to resolve the problem.
Although the incident was eventually handled safely, the fear stayed with me.
I also carried anxiety from:
β’ News about subway suicides
β’ Stories of train accidents
β’ Experiences shared by coworkers
Even events I had never personally experienced became sources of fear inside my mind.
πΏ THE WORD βMEDITATIONβ CAUGHT MY ATTENTION
In 2006, I came across a brochure introducing meditation.
The moment I saw the words related to meditation and the mind, something inside me reacted.
I thought:
“Perhaps the answers I’ve been searching for are here.”
I immediately began practicing.
For the first time in my life, I started carefully examining and letting go of the emotional memories, fears, and worries I had accumulated over many years.
β¨ ONE DAY, EVERYTHING BECAME CLEAR
As I continued letting go of fear, anxiety, and emotional burdens, something remarkable happened.
One day, I suddenly realized:
“I was never separate in the first place.”
“I came from the universe itself.”
“The universe itself was me.”
At that moment, the suffocating emptiness I had carried for decades disappeared.
The questions that had troubled me throughout my life finally felt resolved.
And something else appeared naturally:
Gratitude.
I realized:
β’ Air allows me to breathe
β’ The train allows me to work
β’ Passengers support my livelihood
β’ Countless people contribute to my life every day
Before that realization, I had spent much of my life trapped inside my own thoughts without appreciating any of it.
β€οΈ EVERY PASSENGER BECAME PRECIOUS
Afterward, my perspective toward people changed completely.
Previously, difficult passengers often caused stress and irritation.
For example:
β’ Drunk passengers
β’ People forcing train doors open
β’ Unsafe behavior on platforms
Now, my first thought is often:
“How difficult must their life be right now?”
Instead of reacting emotionally, I find myself feeling understanding and compassion.
I also pay more attention to elderly passengers, wheelchair users, and visually impaired riders.
Every passenger feels precious.
π THE DARK TUNNEL INSIDE ME DISAPPEARED
Today, people often tell me:
“Your face looks softer.”
“You seem peaceful.”
“You look genuinely happy.”
In the past, my emotions constantly fluctuated because my mind was filled with endless thoughts, worries, and emotional memories.
After letting those burdens go, I became able to focus on the present moment.
For the first time in my life, I feel genuine peace.
π A DREAM FOR OTHER TRAIN OPERATORS
I know many train operators suffer silently.
Some struggle with:
β’ Panic disorder
β’ Claustrophobia
β’ PTSD after accidents
β’ Chronic anxiety and stress
Whenever I hear stories of operators suffering emotionally, my heart hurts.
One of my dreams now is to create a meditation group specifically for train operators.
Because I sincerely believe:
“Once you escape the dark tunnel inside your mind,
a bright and peaceful life is waiting.”
And I hope more people can discover that peace for themselves.
